Cheetos?

So I had the insane craving for Puff Cheetos, today. Im not all that sure I truly care for them, yet, for some reason, I felt the need to have some. Well, they are not sold in this town and that dissapoints me a bit.

Perhaps this was my body telling me I was craving the familiar. I have done my best to keep a fair distance from things American, hoping to expand my crafty creative cultural side, but then it was not just the cheetos. I wanted Cheez-Wiz too! Hell, put that chemically inhanced psuedo cheese on the extra cheesy puff cheetos. What has gotten into me?

I have been able to keep up with re-runs of the Simpsons... in Spanish, and clever movies I introduce to my family that we then watch in Spanish. These include, but are not limited to

Father of the Bride
Serendipity
American Beauty
White Chicks
Pulp Fiction
Old School
and oddly, Shindlers List

I really pushed for the Sex and the City movie...thus, I failed. Not because they are particular unfond of the topic of sex, but rather have a dislike towards Sarah Jessica Parker. Sadly, I almost ended my friendship with the entire family based on this conversation. Faith and Confidence was restored in them when they laughed to the point of tears in the movie The 6th sense.

Finally, I made a quick mental list of the things I miss. Like the movies, they include, but are not limited to

Sex and the City reruns
Both of my cats
Sushi
Jim, also known as my Boyfiend because the fam cannot remember and/or pronounce his name
Ranch dressing
Always family and friends
And apparently, Puff Cheetos.

I will try and post some photos for all to see. Naturally, only the ones where I look good!

Part 2- The Gym

In fear of looking like Kirsty Alley doing Jenny Craig commercials, I got on the bandwagon and decided some well needed cardio, iron-pumping, and sweating was just the ticket. So on Friday past, I walked over to Palestra Gimnasio, got the info, and decided on Monday I would sign up. (I needed the weekend to mentally prepare for kicking my own ass). Plus, I wanted to create a work out mix on the trusty old ipod. (Cleverly, I named the Playlist ¨Looking Like a STUD¨).

The gym is nothing special. Some stationary bikes from 1945, a treadmill, free weights. It´s perfect. I don´t want to fall on anything and cut myself, however, because everything looks a little chincy, with rust here and there, and a lot of Duct Tape. (My kinda Place).

So I get there and for 45 pesos, I get a months Pase Libre (Unlimited pass) and a trainer. Martin. Nice fellow. I´m thinking that I´m going to walk in and after an hour and a half sweat my brains out, be soar, and feel so horrible that I feel great. The proof of a great workout! Totally STUD material.

WRONG!

After about 45 minutes I thought I was going to die, actually. After the tunnel vision ceased, the fear that I may vomit sank in. Great, I really don´t want to be known as The American Girl who throws up in the corner. So, I take it easy, but this is a pretty intense feeling of death lurking around me and I immediately think, damn, I gotta go. As, I´m laying on a mat, trying to look like maybe I would be doing a stretch, Martin comes over and asks what more I want to do.

¨Sorry,¨ I say, ¨But Martin, I have to get going, I need to be at work very soon.¨ He knew I was lying. It didn´t feel like a very good lie, but I needed to eliminate any extra conversation we may have about me visiting Argentina or how I work with orphans. He steps away for a moment and as I stand up, it gets really dark. NO. I wil not pass out. I do Bikram Yoga for crying out loud. This won´t happen.

...The light comes back. I have not fainted. Relief painted my face with an assortment of shades of red...

And then I dry heaved in the corner...Blast!

Nobody saw, and I got out of there with enough time to say, See you on Wednesday!

Really, Courtney? How unattractive, nevertheless, I won´t have cheesecake buns when I return!

Ciao

Part 1- Mayonaise

Earlier in this realm of blogging, I stated that the Argentians´are very keen on putting mayonaise on EVERYTHING. I don´t think I stressed how much I wasn´t joking. It´s not just for burgers anymore, but used as a salad dressing, on top of steak, as a dip for papas fritas (french fries), on hot dogs, (and my dad loved this because apparently I used to put mayo on hot dogs, too...that´s another story)...who knows, maybe even ice cream. This mayonaise frenzy isn´t really my thing, but believe me, it has not compromised my eating habits!

The thing here I miss is spicy food. It´s not as prevelant as in Mexico, and coming from the US, where I put Tobasco on everything as much as they do mayonaise here, I´m a bit saddened. When my wonderful host mother offered me something called ¨Salsa Golf,¨ I jumped at the word salsa! Really, spicy going in, spicy coming out...sign me up! To my dissapointment, and surprise, it´s not what I expected. It´s sort of like ¨Fancy Sauce,¨for those of you lucky enough to be familiar with the movie Step Brothers. This said condim...condume...scratch that- this said sauce, Salsa Golf, is actually a mixture of mayo, mustard, ketchup, and some other spice. Not bad, but not exactly what I was looking for. Needless to say, on my Choriezo y pan this past weekend, I not only individually applied (liberally) mustard, mayo, and ketchup, but followed with the tripple threat of Salsa Golf! I sure did.

When I said that my eating habits were not in jeopardy, I wasn´t joking. Because of this mayonaise epidemic, I´m afraid that I may return to The States in June with sky rocketing cholestrol and possibly a fat ass, not with a PH. Just F-A-T!

DAMAGE CONTROL!

...I joined a gym

Pee Pee

I emailed my parents and informed them right away that they may want to bank on my sister for grandchildren...

So, I got peed on yesterday.

There were two types of responses I got from everyone I told about my Argentina Adventures and working in an orphanage.

The first went something like... Um, Courtney, you do know that an orphanage is filled with CHILDREN, right? And, as I recall, you do not really like children, right? Infact, I think you may just hate them, right?

The other response was more like... I told you...see, you do have a heart!!! You´re going to comeback Angeling Jolie style with all sorts of little foreign Beer´s!!!

Now, yes, I did know that I would be working with children, and potentially dealing with poo, and pee, and lice, but never did I think I would get PEED on. Really?

...So, it gets better

Now on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I work at another part of the orphanage, however, this place deals with children who have severe disabilities. There is a lot of drooling and even more peeing, but these children truly have sunshine coming out of every part of their bodies. They are the most genuine individuals. When they laugh, it´s not that uncomfortable laugh like, ¨yeah hi, I don´t really understand what you just said, but by the context, it sounded like it may have been funny so i´m laughing like I care.¨ When they are upset, there is no beating around the bush and playing the games we play.

Example: Hi, babe, why are you mad.
-Ugh, I´m not...(said in Paris Hilton valley girl voice)
Well, I get the feeling you are...
-I´m Not!
Okay, well, i gotta go-
-Ugh, you of all people should know...

No, when these kids are upset, they full out let you know by crying and screaming. And when they have to use the restroom, they are not going to wait for someone to help escort them to the lavortaory. (There is a chance this word is miss spelled, but in my head, it evoked so much more than the word, ¨bathroom¨) These kids just go! What? on the floor, sure. In your friends bed? why not. Who´s that American girl? pee on her foot? ABSOLUTELY!

Yes friends, 2 days in a row, I got peed on. I am looking at this in the best of light, because in some cultures, somewhere, I´m sure this is seen as good luck!

And another reason to rejoyce...It´s just pee. I´ll be the first to admit, if I´m stranded on a desert island Tom Hanks style and I´m thirsty, no doubt about it i´m throwing back a nice coctail of Courtney Beer. It´s 100% steril, and only when it´s been out for a while does it start collecting bacteria and become yucky.

In addition, baby pee isn´t THAT bad. It´s not like they had 5 cups of coffee for breakfast or aspargus for lunch, it´s practically water. (I might be trying to convince myself, too). Now, i´m still new to this getting involved with children thing, and diaper duty isn´t my forté quite yet; so I may have turned the other cheek (Or left the room) when it was changing time, nevertheless, I didn´t squirm and vomit.

Holler! I´m growing up!

After I arrived back at casa de lovely, AKA, my home in Argentian, and after I was able to suds up in the shower...multiple times... I checked my email.

My mother had writen me a very nice response to the ¨tough luck on becoming a grandma any time soon¨ email. She reminded me that not only did I pee and throw up on both her and my father, but they still love me. Aw, cute. She continues with a mini nightmare I´m sharing because, really, what´s humility if I can´t share it and make someone else laugh too.

My mother reminds me that on my first ¨meet your doctor moment,¨ (in my defense, within the first months of my life) I pooped on his lap... bare assed and all! Aw, sweet cheeks Courtney, and here I thought I was perfect!

I don´t plan on having any poopy pants kids soon, (lucky you Jarred), and I won´t be coming back with 40 adopted children, but I´m not ruling them out forever!

There you have it!
Hope everyone is well, and for those of you taken, taking, and are about to take midterms,

¡BUENO SUERTE!

Boliche Faced

So, for Christmas I got this nifty little book. It´s called 100 words to sound smarter, complete with the correct pronunciation and defination. Guess what, it is useless in Argentina because no matter what I say in Spanish, I always sound like I´m 5. This is a good thing, however, because a year ago, whenever I would speak in Spanish, I sounded like I was 3. IMPROVEMENT!

In The States, I came to the conclusion that I was a cool person. Going out dancing all night is aways a sure thing. And by all night, I do mean that by two thirty am, I´d like to be, if not already, headed home where I can rest my little eyes and prepare for the upcoming day. I´m not as cool as I thought, in Argentina.

I attedned my first dance party at a Boliche. (Pronounced Bow-leech-eh). Shall we start off with the fact that these fasinating clubs exploding with energy, lights, and sweat do not open until 2am. These days, come one thirty am, I feel the itch, and not the kind you cure with a cream (Semi colon) the kind you rid with some glorious sleep. But I figure, hey, why not, this is what this trip is about. And I´m always ready for some hard core dancing!

So around two thirty, six of us arrive at said Boliche. You could hear the music 2 blocks away and feel the energy of the people and excitement even before that. Walking in was like a scene from a movie. Not that I film many scenes for movies, but if I did, based on the entrance alone...Blockbuster, no doubt!

Overflowing with strobe lights, disco balls, fog machines, bubbles, and 300 plus people who also want to dance their faces off, this place was out of control fun. My first thought was, did I remember to put on deodorant, my second thought was, who really cares!

Sadly, the cool group of 6 that we were, bypasses the dancing areas and heads near one of the bars...(Cha-Ching!) And for a while, there we stood...in a circle...moving side to side...ocasionally someone throwing out an outdated move from the US such as the sprinkler or shopping cart. I was NOT having this. I realized that this was our prliminary stop, you see, because if were were going to be there until close, around 6am, we didn´t want to over exude(Get back to me if this is not the correct usage of this word; I´ll resort to the book of 99 others) ourselves.

Finally, we get to the dance area, hardly a dance floor, more like a dance ballroom-sized room. This is when the hair started flying and the jumping commenced, and the hands stammered in the air and the sweating happened, and the laughing wouldn´t stop and the lights flashed and the room spun, and the lound music thumped from my baby toe to the tip of my finger nails. All the songs sounded the same to me; all in spanish with a different rhythm. Everyone else on the other hand, screamed at each song as if it were their favorite and they haden´t heard it years, and that it was better than the previous... Including Joe Cockers, You Can LEave Your Hat On. (Really Argentina, this isn´t 1984). But still, because I knew the words, it was even exciting to me.

For the next 4 hours, we didn´t stop. I used my lack of hearing and language barrier as an excuese to not have to try and speak and/or understand anyone...which worked out stupendiously when creepy guy 1 and 2 wouldn´t leave. I figuring dancing, laughing, and having a good time is universal and that´s all that needed to be understood. Finally, aound five thrity am, I was finished. I made this apparent by standing perfectly still in the middle of everyone dancing. No one said anything to me, but we left soon sfter that.

Got home around 6 ish and in enough time to smash my face into the pillow at 630 am. It never fails that partying like a rockstar has its reprocussions. I will be tired for the rest of the week, (Because I am an old woman these days, early to bed and early to rise...something something something...) But being tired is a small price to pay for an UNFORGETABLE night of Boliche oriented sweaty fun. And who knew you could do all of this without being hammered; how refreshing it´s been not to be hungover- go figure?!?

tongue twisters

I just want to prefice that I am unable to correctly identify the spell check on foreign computers, therefore, spell check is out of the question. Graduating from college has no corolation with being able to spell...anything.

Okay, I figured I needed to post this tonight, before the initial excitement wore off and it became just another story with no essence to it. I did something amazing. I taught. But wait...I did not teach a precious young girl to say her name or a cute boy to tie his shoes. (C´mon, we work with Velcro here). I taught two 19 year old girls the ultimate essential tool in learning to speak English.

¨Peter Piper Picked a pect of pickled peppers,¨and ¨How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.¨

Oh yes, it was the hardest I laughed in a LONG time. We had a grand time exchanging tongue twisters and what not. Nothing bonds people more when there is a language barrier than when even you cant speak your native tongue.

This, however, is going to be nice and short tonight. More updates soon.

Ciao

Cordoba

Well, I made it to Cordoba. Following my arrival was the second best shower of my life.

Host family is spectacular. Andrea and Gabriel are mi mama y papa. Andreita is my sister, and there are 2 brothers. All that is spoken in the house is SPANISH. Most of the time, I look like an idiot, it´s woonderful. I´m catching on quickly, and have learned some very important things:

Mayonase goes on EVERYTHING. DInner does not begin untill somewhere around 10 or 11 pm. There is a lot of kissing. Wine goes with all things food, going through 2.5 liters of coke for dinner is not unusual, and they dislike PAris Hilton as much as Americans do.

The the most important thing is that my life here is sooo hard. I wake up to someone serving me coffee or tea, there is always dulce de leche, fresh bread, and jam, and afterwards i lounge poolside for a few hours. Yes kids, it´s summer here. Too bad I packed for winter. So yesterday I went to purchase pantalones cortes. Shorts. These were a life saver... except now i´m, covered in moscoito bites and badly burned. I look like the pasty red american girl...Good one COurtney.

Tomorrow I begin work with the orphans. I met most of them already, and they are sticky loud, crying kids. And oh so cute. And for anyone who called me cautious courtney for bringing a lice kit, good thing I did because one little girl told me, ¨yo tengo piojos.¨ Jokes on you kids, i have a shampoo for that!

Well, for now, since i´m on the family computer, I shall get back to not looking so American.

PS, today is Dia de los Mujeres... Woman´s day! The ladies take advantae of it here. Lets look into bringing this up with Obama, shall we?

Toodles!

Killing time with a loud firecracker

So, I had to check out of Hotel Reina by 10 am. My bus to Cordoba does not leave until 11 pm. Checked my bags and decided to go exploring!

So far, I´ve been in a parade, a protest, and managed to place foot in dog poo.

Parade may have been an extension of the protest which veered of track and seemed happy.

The protest on the other hand had guys in hard hats, picketers, large signes, yelling, & guns going off (which may have just been loud-sounding color-less firecrackers, but they all sound the same in Argentina and it gives a more dramatic impression).

For the remainder of my hours on the streets, I plan on walking over to San Telmo, (google a map) from San Nicolas and maybe grabbing some ice cream. By the By, I was under the impression that we were entering fall here, and that it was going to be chilly...WRONG!

Feels like NYC in August...and please guess who lacked on putting deodorant on this morning. Fear not, ran back to the hotel, mid sweat, (and creating more sweat) and told the lovely desk lady ¨necesito obtiner una cosa de me bolsa¨ and quickly put some on. She seemed happy that I did so, considering I looked like a hot mess dragged here from America (Smily Face).

It is time, however, to grab some café and sit on a side walk and people watch. That should kill about 2 hours.

Oh, and about the foot-in-poo dilema (semi colon) my coordinator informed me that they do not clean up after their dogs, so this is all my fault. Who knew you were supposed to walk around the steaming pile of caca in the middle of the sidewalk. It might as well have had directions to get around it and perhaps a map too.

...I´ve since cleaned it on a wall near this computer!¨


Besos

Water and Subways

Who knew Argentina had a subway system, question mark. (Yes, until I can again figure out where the question mark on this keyboard I´ll denote one with QM).

So, After my 10.5 hour flight, which was more exciting than I could have imagined, here I sit in a loctorio- or some place with a name like that(semi colon) which allows me to phone indivudals at 1000 american dollars and utilize technology, ie: INTERNET to contact North America. It´s kinda cute here (Buenos Aries, not the internet booth) and I think I could enjoy spending some time in this area.......

...That is if it were not raining. Good move on swiping mom´s umbrella last minute. So, after landing in pouring rain, I get to the hotel, check in with my scribbled Spanish and shower it up! Besides not having a removable shower head, it may have possibly been the most fantastic shower ever (wink).

Finally, to the opening statement, I go to meet one of my many coodinators and I travel via subte. So far, Argentina is NOT acting like the third world country it claims to be. My coordinator Val and I sit for 3 hours going over my program, the city, culture, and she even gives me a tour of the office. Of course I´m assuming this is what we are talking about because most of it is in Spanish, nonetheless, an afternoon well spent. The only thing that may have completed it would have been a nice glass of vino, which I may run off to and get now......If I don´t end up with Montazuma´s Revenge...

I drank the water

!Salud¡