Fanny Packs and Larg Insects

I thought this might be a festive time to do some writing. On my walk to the gym this morning, I made some observations. There are things here which I love. Certain things I love so much it´s border-line obsession. (Dulce de Leche...must smuggle back to US). Ice cream shops, (heladrias) on EVERY corner, siestas... There are also things here that I consider to be less than fashionable for my taste. Things like: men with fanny packs (which seem to be the IN thing, this season), mountains of dog poo in the middle of sidewalks, cats with one eye, and BUGS the size of birds.

I´m sure you all know, I´m not a big fan of bugs. Who is? (Besides Dr. Craddoc, and his silly red shoe laces). I have matured a bit in the past few years. I don´t cry anymore when I see a roach, I can walk away from spiders, I can even trap moths. Yesterday, though, is an ENTIRELY different story. I was hanging out on the patio, enjoying the breeze of the afternoon. Andrea and I were talking about the parent-less children. We shared maté. We talked about the dog (who conventiely ate the last chapter and a half of my mystery novel). I look over to see a leaf fall from the tree and dust the ground for a moment. The dog we were just talking about leaps from inside the house onto this leaf, as if it were a Deak Koontz novel. It´s at this moment that I realize this massive leaf is not actually a leaf, but a creature resembling a grasshopper on steriods!

It took all I had to not jump up and scream like a boy struggling through puberity. The dog happily disabled the mutant, yet it continued to make its way around the patio...getting closer to my personal bubble. (It´s easily the size of my hand).

While I have been striken with fear and panic, Andrea has mearly just noticed and laughed at the dog. I´m getting nervous now, because what I fear most is that this bug will jump in my lap and I will actually die. Just when I´m about to make a run for it, say ciao to Andrea and hide under my covers, the bug takes a suicide plunge into the pool.

Sweet, I think to myself, regaining color in my face.

...That is until IT STARTS SWIMMING. C´mon, give it up...you´re mangled you crazy psycho demon bug.

Apparently, from what I could understand, these insects are good, and though they look like flying, jumping, hopping freakyness, they eat mosquitos. Wonderful, the only chance I have at saving myself from Dengue (which is either malaria or that other disease from mosquitos) is via this thing that is now, scaling the side og the pool; as if it may have packed it´s mountain climbing tools that morning.

After this charade, I went inside and never saw it again. It´s probably lurking out there...waiting to jump out of a man´s fanny pack at any moment...