As I lounged around on this wonderful 23rd birthday of mine, I began pondering on life goals and future employment.
I was watching the Today Show with Kathy Lee Gifford. She and brain absent Tori Spelling sat around discussing fecal matter. My mood went from happily groggy to uncomfortable outraged. It was not that I was particularly disturbed by their choice of conversation on national television (because I often enjoy talking about bowel movements myself). It was, however, the fact that they both were getting paid for such material. I want to make money by engaging in conversation about stool samples and wiping rituals. On top of that, they were eating lolly-pops as I was informed that it was National Lolly Pop day, and drinking champagne. Now, I'm always a fan of drinking in daylight on a patio somewhere, but this is preposterous. Gifford actually said "this is Happy Hour on Today," and just popped up with 2 glasses of bubbly.
Damnit, I'm funnier than 94 year old Kathy Lee, I love talking about poop and all of it's adajecent topics, and I may even have supported her long forgotten child labour sweat shop incident. How is it that I'm now 23 living with my "roommates" again watching the Today show when I should be ON the Today show drinking champagne and sucking on a lolly pop! Ann Curry and I would sooo get along.
Now I have come to the conclusion that I am going to apply for her job at the NBC studios. I'm going to skip the internships and ground level work of being a coffee runner and just advance my way up the chain to drunkenly laugh with Al Roker and Matt Lauer. Move over Kathy Lee, it's time for Courtney B.
Maybe this is just wishful birthday thinking, and perhaps I should drowned in some birthday cake...But let it be known that I HAVEN'T blown out my candles yet and there is still time for me to make a wish! Bahahaha
Feliz Cumple a mi!
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lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ya eff her... she ain't half as cute and her funny is always on fumes... and tori spelling is only cool bc she had (to be said as white as possible with the demented accent)"dahdeees muhnee" her kids look special (like they need the smedium sized bus equipped with chair rides and ish) how the phuq did she land a reality show??? whatever.. .we on the same page girl... Edc and court bee bitches... we gone take over the airwaves hoes!
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